Well, it only took two weeks for it to happen.
We tried to contain ourselves, but we simplycouldn’t resist…
We talked about farts.
Specifically, terrorist farters in elevators.
It may or may not be out of our systems (yes, pun intended)but we survived, and so did you.
What else did we survive during Dude Write 2?
A lot of things, actually. A lot of freaking awesome things.
We survived Civil War soldiers, led by their clandestineGeneral. We survived falling out of bed and narrowly escaping our untimelydemise at the hands of our fan. Welearned how to turn annoying things, like spam one-liners, into humorousanecdotes. And if we were unable to makethem funny, we just sent them to the Wall of Shame.
We spent some time with animals. When we weren’t visiting the Monkey Rodeo,we were learning how to deal with stubborn cows. Although, in their defense, the cows weren’tstubborn. They were merely fantasizing about us.
We spent some time reflecting and changing. We thought back to the harder times in ourlife, and the moments that changed and defined us. Like the time that we were young, but stillrose up like the Hulk to erase cultural stereotypes, by overpowering thepeople that were trying to drag us down, both literally and figuratively.
Or the time we spent with a beloved boss, who was justaiming to live life surrounded by the things he loved, and our struggle to makeit last.
But we are dudes. Andsometimes all it takes is a beer, a steak, and the beach to invoke a changewithin us.
Dudes are funny creatures like that.
On that note, we learned what, exactly, makes a dude a dude, and we got some rules for life that every dude should follow. We learned that no matter what wechoose as our daily diet, we are men. And as men, nothing will ever stop us from craving bacon. We learned that trash-talking and one-upping other dudes is a surefire way to hold us back from being a truedude. And we also learned that some ofus are unfortunately incapable of being a true dude because we are too shy to hit on girls.
But we’re working on it.
Most importantly, we gave each other advice, like true dudesare supposed to do.
We gave advice on women, who are exactly like cars. We gave advice on how to deal with swamp ass, which is exactly like swamps. And we learned the best way to deal withknowledge of our Grandma’s love life, which is exactly like our ownlove lives when we were teenagers.
All of this advice, I am sure, will one day be summed upinto an amazing graduation speech from a normal dude. But if we are unable to light the path offuture generations with our amazing speeches, we always have the clever and hilarious insights of our offspring to give us hope.